I Don't Want To Be A Bride
by ur-vampire-girl
Summary: When Rose's mother died, she entrusted Rose to one of her colleagues, Dimitri Belikov. Rose didn't know that Dimitri wasn't just her mom's nurse, she didn't even know about their job. Would she be able to forgive Dimitri for keeping everything a secret?
1. The Best Day

**Hey guys!**

**Here's my new story. Kinda inspired by a Filipino movie. I tried my best in editing it. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy, no copyright infringement intended.**

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**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter One: The Best Day**

"_Revenge, at first though sweet, Bitter ere long back on itself recoils." _

_~John Milton_

**(RPOV)**

This had to be the happiest day of my life.

I was getting married to the man of my dreams whom I loved so much and by some miracle, he loved me the same way too. It was just like yesterday when I first met and fell in love with him. It was love at first sight and I knew at that moment that he was the one and the guy that I wanted to spend my whole life with.

He was handsome, hard working, he could make me laugh and he made me feel extraordinary. He had the all the traits that I wanted in a guy.

He was an artist and we met in his art gallery. I didn't really love art, but because of him, I appreciated it. Most of his paintings were abstract, but he painted me. I had to admit it, it was beautiful and it hanged on my bedroom wall.

Most of my friends didn't approve of him at first. He _was_ a womanizer. Even while we were dating, he had girls all over him. He tried to deny it, but I saw him with those girls and they were having _so much fun_. I saw it with my own eyes. Even if it broke me, I broke up with him. Since that day, I hadn't heard of him, nobody was really talking about him. Deep inside of me, I wanted my friends to tell me anything about him, even if they would tell me that he had a new girlfriend. I just wanted to know if he was doing alright while my heart was breaking.

It was until my birthday which was a week after that. I got to my house and there were paintings all over my living room. It was _me_, my face were all over the room. Me in the red dress that I wore when we first met in his gallery, our first date in his rooftop, our pillow fight in his house, and many more. There were a total of twelve and each one of them was so vivid and real. Every time I looked at them, it was like I was reliving the moment. Twelve best memories that we had.

He apologized to me, told me that he was willing to change for me. He would do whatever it takes to get my trust back so that he wouldn't lose me again. But I told him I'd have to think about it and he had to prove what he said first. _Action speaks louder than voice._ I thought.

Since then, he never went to clubs and bars unless he was with us, and he never laid eyes on another woman except from me. He became a better person and I was glad for it. I was really that special to him that he changed for me.

I stared at my own reflection as my best friend and maid of honor, Lissa, arranged my veil. I smiled at her on the mirror and mouthed her 'thanks'. She nodded and said that she would just leave me for a few minutes to change into her dress.

I touched lightly the smooth silk fabric of my wedding gown. It was a simple white a-line gown with beaded straps and a pretty long trail. I love the dress, but I wish I wouldn't trip on it with these four-inch heels that Lissa forced me to wear. I told her that I could only handle up to two inches, but she told me that it wouldn't look good on the dress. I had to listen to her because between us, she was the fashion expert. I was more into makeup.

I almost jumped when I heard the door to the hotel room where I was staying opened. It couldn't be Lissa since she just left.

I turned to look who that was and then I saw Dimitri, in his tux. He looked so different, so manly, so handsome and perfect. He looked much older with what he was wearing, well he was technically seven years older than me, but in that attire, his age showed. He was twenty-nine and I was twenty-two.

"Hey, you are not allowed here. The guys are supposed to be on the lower level of the building. Lissa would kill you," I teased as I walked closer to him.

"I know, but I have to see you before the wedding. You look stunning by the way," he said.

"Thank you." I laughed.

He smiled at me. Now that I was closer to him, I felt like a dwarf. He was so tall, six foot two inches and I was only five foot, nine. His deep brown eyes were shining as he was staring at me. His almost black hair was styled fixed in a tiny ponytail.

He cupped my left cheek with his right hand and leaned closer to me to kiss my forehead.

"Thank you," I said when he pulled away. "Thanks for agreeing to be my best man," I added.

I could feel tears welling up my eyes as he pulled me into a tight hug. I would miss him. He had been my rock for the past eight years since my only family, my mother died. He had been there to comfort me and he treated me as his little sister. He helped me when I had nothing, when I was broke, he gave me money. I told him that now that I could, I'd pay him, but he refused. He was so kind even to his family. The girl whom he would marry would be so lucky. I owe him for who I was right now. I wouldn't be able to stand on my feet again if it wasn't for him.

"I am just a substitute," he said with humor, lighting up the mood that I created. "Don't cry, you'll mess up your make up."

"Don't worry, I still have an hour to fix it, let me shed some tears for the most amazing guy ever," I joked. "I'll miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too, Rose," he replied. "Where are you guys going for your honeymoon again?"

"Montreal."

"Kinda far, I guess. If that guys hurts you again just like what he did last year, all you have to do is call me and I'll beat the hell out of him." There was his overprotective-big-brother attitude again. It annoyed me sometimes, but he was funny and cute when he was in that character.

"Adrian won't hurt me ever again," I said with all the confidence that I had.

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**No, Dimitri is not the groom. **

**What do you think? To continue or not to continue?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**

**P.S. Check out my fanfics on youtube: TheLittleMissWriter**


	2. The Girl On Fire

**Hello!  
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**I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update. I'd been out a lot and well, I was too lazy to type anything. Haha :))  
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**Song: Good Girl by Carrie Underwood  
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**Hope you enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
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**I Don't Want To Be a Bride **

**Chapter Two: The Girl On Fire  
**

_You got a heart of gold  
You want a white wedding  
And a hand you can hold  
Just like you should, girl, like every good girl does  
Want a fairytale ending, somebody to love_

_But he's really good at lying_  
_Yeah, he'll leave you in the dust_  
_'Cause when he says forever_  
_Well, it don't mean much_  
_Hey good girl, so good for him_  
_Better back away honey_  
_You don't know where he's been..._

Lissa and I arrived fashionably late in the church. That way, when we were there, everything was already set. We couldn't go out though without further instructions. I should be the last one who should enter; we would have to wait for a bit more.

I thought it would only take five to ten minutes for everything to start. My nerves were getting the best of me. My stomach was turning and I'm afraid that I would puke right here, right now. I was trying my best to swallow so that nothing would come out. I felt suffocated in this vehicle, I couldn't wait to get out of here and finish the ceremony.

A few more minutes passed and I knew that there got to be something wrong. What was taking them from starting the march? I thought that everything was polished yesterday. We even had a rehearsal just the other day.

I didn't notice that Lissa was talking to someone on her phone until I felt her hand on my shoulder. She felt unbelievably warm. Looked like I became oblivious to my surroundings because of my anxiety.

I looked at my beautiful best friend who had a body that even super models would be jealous of. She was wearing a light blue strapless dress with a beaded top and it reached just above her knees. Also, she was wearing those high heels that made her tower over me. She was so tall, I didn't understand why she wore those, and she had those never ending legs that I envied so much. Why do I get to be the shortest among my friends?

Nervousness and worry were spread all over her face. "Rose," she said my name ever so gently, like she was afraid that I might break.

"Why?" I asked anxiously.

"Don't panic, okay?"

"Just tell me."

"Adrian just left to Australia. His parents tracked him. He was in the airport a few hours ago and his flight just left," she revealed.

It was like I heard a shattering glass. I don't know. Maybe it was my heart, or my life. What happened to my fairytale wedding?

Suddenly, I realized that maybe Lissa was just messing with me. Maybe it was Eddie and Christian she was talking to earlier and they would want to make fun of me before my wedding. They used to do pranks to me and Lissa during high school.

"He couldn't do that to me. Stop that joke, it's not funny," I cried.

Instead of admitting that she was just joking, she hugged me tightly as I cried.

"He promised me that he'll change," I said with my quivering voice. "He will come. He won't…"

"Shh…Rose, he's not coming," she said, pulling away from my deathly grasp and looking directly in my eyes.

"How can you say that? You know how much we'd been through," I said furiously.

"Because it's the truth. He changed, but only temporarily. I warned you, Rose. I told you that once you got into this, there's no coming back."

"You say that because you don't really like him. You pretend to because of me."

"Yes," she admitted. "Because I know that he would hurt you. You can never trust a guy like him; look at what he did to you now."

My words were like slapped hard on my face. And it stung. I told all of those people outside that Adrian was not who they thought he was, that he was better than who he was before. I defended him from their offensive words and told them that one day, he could prove himself to them, that he was a better person.

I ate my words; I was even choking on them.

After what felt like an eternity of crying like a goddamn faucet with my hands on my face, I heard the door of the car opening. The driver left. I felt Lissa moved away and felt those familiar strong and warm arms around me.

Dimitri comforted me the way he did eight years ago, that night when my mom finally gave up on fighting. He knew me more than Lissa, even more than myself. He always knew what to do when I felt bad and how to make me feel happy.

"I'm alone again." My words were muffled because my head was on his chest.

"You were never alone, I am here. I never left you," he said softly.

"I'm having a nightmare, right? Tell me that this is just a bad dream. This can't be real, Dimitri. We had so many plans. He promised me so many things. How can he do this to me?" It was like I was more of convincing myself than asking him. More sobs and tears escaped from me. My body was shaking and my sight was blurring.

"Let's go home. Being here won't do you any good," he said, taking my hand as he opened the door.

"But, what if he comes back? I want to be here. He told me he loved me and he would marry me," I insisted.

He didn't say a word, surprising me by carrying me outside. I could see a blur of people staring at my mascara smudged face. The noise was only low when we got out, but as we near them, it was getting louder and louder. Their words were incoherent. I didn't even know if they were making fun of me, of the foolish girl who believed that Adrian Ivashkov would change his ways.

I hid my face on Dimitri's chest, suddenly ashamed of myself. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he walked.

I couldn't remember passing out, but I woke up in my cold bedroom, still in this crappy wedding dress. The portrait of myself staring at me. I hated how happy and in love she looked. I hated how she could remain like that at a moment like this. She was who I was a few hours before the wedding.

I stood up from my bed and walked toward the wall where the portrait hung. I took it, together with the other paintings in my room and in the living room. I set them in a pile at my backyard, got a bottle of gasoline from the garage and matches from the kitchen.

I poured the gasoline all over the works of art of the man who fooled me. I set them on fire and smiled to myself. It felt so good to destroy them. Those painting that he spent days just to finish. Those things he used to capture my heart, it felt like I was getting my heart and all I gave him back again.

I was having so much fun staring at the mini inferno that I created that I forgot that the dress that I was wearing had a very long trail. It started burning and it was going up so fast. I was on panic as I tried to stop the fire. I was screaming and thrashing, but nothing happened.

As I struggled to remove the gown out of my body, I could feel my leg on heat. There were like thirty buttons at the back of this dress and it was impossible for me to remove it before I was a living torch. There was only one thing that came to my mind, I was going to die. I was going to burn to ashes just like those paintings.

"Help! Please!" I shouted as smoke clouded my vision.

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**I wish I could make it longer, but I have a pattern to follow. :) **

**What do you think? **

**Thank you for reading! I can finally feel summer, it's sooo hot in the Philippines...haha :))  
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**-Ishi :)  
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	3. Vacation in the Hospital

**Thanks for the reviews and for adding this to your lists.  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA.  
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**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Three: Vacation in the _Hospital_  
**

Before the flames could reach my upper body, I felt cold water being splashed all over me. It was like bathing in ice after you'd gone through hell. I could feel my body relaxing in relief.

The fire was gone. Most of the gown was ruined and burnt. Thank God I wasn't wearing the veil or else I'd be bald right now.

I turned back to see Dimitri holding the water hose which was still on my burnt skirt's direction. He was staring at me just I was at him. I could feel his eyes trailing from my head to toe, looking if there was further damage besides my dress.

He kept doing that until I cringed when I felt a sharp pain my feet and my left leg. Quickly, he turned off the forgotten hose and rushed to me. He lifted and carried me by surprise that I yelped. He brought me inside to my room and set me down to my comfy couch.

It was when I noticed that he had changed into a simple shirt and jeans. He looked so much younger now, not like the man with me a few hours ago. He was just him and not the man who was trying to be so formal. My Dimitri, my savior.

"I'll go out to get the first aid kit. Change into a dress or shorts, something that wouldn't touch your wound," he said, his voice void of any emotion.

I managed to say a choked, "Okay."

And then I realized that it was not possible for me to get out of this dress without any help. There were way too many buttons at the back and I couldn't reach them.

"Wait! I need help," I said before his hand could touch the knob of the door.

"For?"

"The dress, can you unbutton it for me? And can you get me a shirt and shorts on my closet, my feet is pretty wounded," I said as nicely as I could.

He walked back to be and helped me in a sitting position. He had his hand on my shoulder and my back as I sat. I flinched when my damaged leg made contact on the flimsy and still hot part of my dress.

"Shh…it's okay," Dimitri mumbled as he started unbuttoning my dress.

Button by button, I could feel my dress loosening around me. I didn't realize how tight it was. I think I just had more air in my circulation.

I could feel Dimitri's hot breath on my shoulder and his hand on my lower back. I didn't know why, but my heart beat sped unbelievably fast and I could feel heat on my cheeks. Though I was in pain, I could still feel the tingling sensation as his fingers touched my bare skin.

"What were you thinking when you burned those portraits?" he asked gently as he unbuttoned the last.

My eyes were closed as I answered, "I just wanted those things out of my house, out of my life forever."

"You could have just thrown them."

"I'd like them gone permanently."

I swear I could feel his lips inching closer to my neck until he stood up and headed to my closet. He got me a shirt that he gave me on Christmas two years ago and blue cotton shorts that I wore to sleep.

My accelerating heartbeat finally slowed down when he left the room. I put my hands on my chest just to make sure that it did slow down. What the hell had just happened to me? Am I sick?

When I was done changing, Dimitri returned with a basin of water and sponge. He cleaned my burns which were only on the first degree. I didn't need to go to the hospital anymore. Some parts of my left leg were badly damaged and I'm afraid that they were going to leave a scar. The cleaning process lasted so long for my liking, although the cold water alleviated the pain, I still didn't feel comfortable with the sponge.

He applied some burn medicine on my wounds and it felt so freaking great. The cream felt so cold on my skin and I think I just sighed in relief.

"So, what's your plan now?" Dimitri asked, drawing my attention.

"I don't know…" I answered honestly.

"That jerk is going to pay for what he did to you."

"I can handle him myself," I said, my brain formulating a plan. "We'll make him regret what he did. Give him a taste of his own medicine."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. You're planning something more than evil," he said with a chuckle.

I nodded and laughed with him.

"Let's fake an accident. I could use my burns as a proof. Tell them that I got into an accident because I was so drunk and I was driving," I suggested.

He raised a brow. "We'll be lying to all of them to make Adrian come back?"

"Yes, and it's the only way. We'll tell them after, I think Lissa and our friends wouldn't be that mad. I do not care about Adrian's parents now that they don't have anything to do with my life. God knows they were just being nice to me because they thought that Adrian was finally going to settle down. His father hates me, you know. Remember when I told you I heard them talking on it was better if Adrian ended up with Mia, that rich girl."

"She's a spoiled brat. I couldn't imagine what could have happened if they do end up together," he said with a slight laugh.

I couldn't muster to say anything after what he said. _Adrian ending up with another girl there in Australia _was the first thing that came to my mind.

"Where are you going to stay while you were supposed to be in the hospital? Somewhere where they wouldn't expect you'll go," Dimitri asked.

"Hmm…let me think," I said, rubbing my hand on my cheek.

Three minutes later, I'd thought of a place we could go where nobody would expect us to. They were safely hidden on my nightstand drawer in a clean white envelope. I forgot to bring them earlier and I was supposed to ask Jill, Lissa's younger sister to get them here for me.

I looked at Dimitri who was sitting on the side of my bed toward my direction. He was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to talk.

I asked him to get the envelope from the drawer and told him to open it. Shock spread all over his face as he pulled out two tickets to Montreal.

"That's where we're bound to," I said mischievously.

He went closer to me and asked, "Are you serious?"

"I. Am. Dead. Serious," I answered, emphasizing each word.

His face relaxed as he placed the tickets on the empty spot on the couch beside me where he formerly was.

"When do we leave?"

"The plane for the tickets leaves in about two hours. My things are already packed, we better go to your place so you can pack up and then we head to the airport."

"Okay."

* * *

Everything was so fast. We were now in the plane where Adrian was supposed to be right now. This moment, we should have just left the reception which was in their mansion and I was supposed to wear that red dress that his mother gave me as a gift. At the moment, I was wearing the crappiest outfit ever, a vintage shirt hidden beneath my black hoodie and grey sweatpants. I couldn't wear jeans because once my burns made contact with the rough fabric, it hurt like hell.

It still hurt for me to walk, but pretty bearable. Dimitri was there to help me and he even insisted on getting me a wheelchair which would add to the mortification that I was feeling so I nicely declined his offer. I didn't need more attention; nobody who knows us should see us here. My plans would be destroyed.

I slept most of our flight and woke up fifteen minutes before the plane landed. I found myself on Dimitri's warm arms and it was more than comfortable. If I could, I'd stay there forever, but we had to leave soon.

While he was asleep, I took the opportunity to look at his face in the small distance between us. It had been so long since I saw him like this, so peaceful and relaxed. He was usually busy with his job. His long lashes which were naturally curled were resting softly on his cheeks. Some of his curly hair was splayed on his forehead. I reached to touch the stubble on his chin and cheeks which tickled my fingers.

When I thought I should wake up the deep sleeper of a man, I took it as an opportunity to make fun of him. I pressed his nose up so that he'd look like a pig. I tugged his lower lip with my fingers and did it again and again while laughing silently like an idiot. I used to do this to him when I was younger and before Adrian came into my life.

Realization flooded over me. Since Adrian and I got together, I had less time with Dimitri. I almost never invited him in my night out with my friends, because I thought he'd be out of place because most of us were at my age. He would be like our guardian there and I wouldn't want to make him feel like that. I didn't know how much I missed my best guy friend until now. I promise myself that I would make up our lost time in this mini vacay.

He woke up, my fingers still playing with his face. He had an annoyed look on his face and a sudden death grip on my hand. Dimitri didn't like to be woken up, especially when he was having a deep nice sleep.

I smiled at him innocently while he looked more pissed than ever.

Oh boy, he was going to be in a bad mood all morning. Guess I should use a gentler approach next time.

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**Comments? Suggestions?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


	4. Here to Stay

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**Have fun reading!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
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**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Four: Here to Stay**

**(RPOV)**

The plane landed, we got our luggage and headed to the hotel Adrian booked last month. We were in the most expensive suite that had a comfy looking king-sized bed inside. It was the most romantic place that I had ever been. Maybe if the wedding did pursue, I would have thanked Adrian for finding this place.

We had an amazing brunch delivered to us. Dimitri and I enjoyed our feast, well looked like he enjoyed it more. He kept telling me that I was the one who ate most of the food, but he was just in denial that he was a glutton. Okay, not much of it, but he really ate a lot. He was a big guy, not in a fat way, but in a muscular way. He owned a gym back there at Montana and it was like his second home. I had some sessions with him during weekends when I had no work, but when I started dating Adrian, I barely visited the place. I miss Tasha and Stan, his assistants. They were so nice to me and I liked messing out with them.

Oh, thinking of which, who was taking care of his gym now that I dragged him here? Damn, I hadn't been thinking. I was really so selfish and maybe he came here with me so that I wouldn't be sad and disappointed.

"Dimitri, who's left in the gym? I shouldn't have asked you to come with me. I'm really sorry, did you close it? Much money would be wasted. You have to work and I'm on leave. Sorry."

He took a gulp of his orange juice first before he replied to me, "Stan is there and Victoria, too. They should be fine. I just have to increase their salary a bit this month since they've been doing extra work. And don't worry, I told them I'd be visiting my family in Russia for awhile because my grandmother is sick."

I sighed in relief knowing that the gym was still in operation.

And then his phone started blaring. Lissa's picture appeared on the screen.

"What do I tell her?" he asked, slightly worried.

"You don't know where I am, but I wrote you a letter that I'll be back soon. That way, there'll be no police involved," I explained.

He nodded, answered his phone and put it on loudspeaker for me to hear Lissa from the other line.

Seamlessly, he told her what I said to him. Lissa was sobbing through the phone, saying that I might try to do something reckless. I need not to instruct Dimitri on what to tell her when she asked more question. He was so good at reasoning.

Honestly, I did feel awful that people whom I cared the most were getting involved in this, in my revenge. I knew from the start that after this, a lot of people would get angry at me, even hate me, but I hope that they'd understand that I was doing this so that Adrian could wake up to the truth that he wasn't the only man in the world. To make him feel what I felt this morning.

* * *

_Two weeks later..._

**(DPOV)**

"Dimitri!" Rose shouted, throwing a huge white fluffy pillow at me and letting out a boisterous laughter.

Apparently, she was drunk. Very inebriated.

It was our last day here in the hotel and we did have a lot of fun. It became very enjoyable and relaxing. It was a wonderful escape from all that was happening in our real life. Here, we would be just us. Just the same old Rose and Dimitri who loved making fun of just anything.

In here, there were a lot of things to distract us. We had the benefit of spending all afternoon in a private pool near our suite. We had a picnic and we enjoyed the water. We at the bar outside the hotel, went to the mall to go to the arcade and she shopped a lot of clothes and beauty products. She even told me that I was a better company than Lissa because I didn't complain with her choices. Most of the days, we either watched movies or trying the whole menu of the hotel. Rose was so small yet she could eat for three, she never accepted that fact.

"Just sleep, Rose. You're gonna have a hell of a hangover tomorrow," I told her dismissively, throwing back that pillow and it hit her head.

She stumbled, but managed to get back on her feet. She smiled evilly at me as the pillow fell on the carpeted floor. I didn't like that look on her face. She was going to do something not so pleasant. It would surely be something insane.

I wasn't as equally drunk as her though I had eight bottles of vodka and she had five or six. I think we bought too much of them since there were still five more bottles on the floor beside the couch.

"Pillow fight!" she announced, laughing so loud again.

I ignored her. She would get over it when she realized that I was not game for what she wanted. I wasn't in the mood to play right now. Maybe I could finish the remaining bottles. So I took three and went to bed. Rose followed me and telling me that I should join her because it would surely be fun.

She kept reaching for the pillows beneath my head. I knew she'd do anything to get them, but I really didn't expect her to punch my stomach. She grabbed two pillows and jumped in triumph.

She threw me pillow after pillow. She was laughing so hard that I could hardly understand her words. I gave her a look that says that I was ultimately pissed. She laughed even more, her whole body was shaking and there were tears in her eyes.

Her laugh was like music to my ears and I thought my heart just skipped a beat. She was almost glowing with the happiness radiating around her. Her eyes, those pools of chocolate looked so bright and happy. I hadn't seen her like this in a while and what I wouldn't give just for her to remain contented.

To finally make her happier, I joined the fight. Back and forth, chasing and laughing, we threw pillows at each other until dawn. The room was filled with white feathers and some were even stuck in our hair.

When we were both spent, we laid back on the bed. Only three surviving pillows were there. Although the game was done, we couldn't help exchanging fits of laughter when we look at each other. We looked like chickens with all the feathers sticking on us.

Rose moved closer to me, her expression relaxing. She stared at me with a weird look on her face. Her eyes trailed from my eyes down to my lips.

"Dimitri?" she said so painfully innocent. "Do you think I'm beautiful?" She reached out to touch my cheek and cupped it.

Whoa. Was this real? I thought Rose was the only one who was drunk.

I knew from the beginning that she needed me in her life, but only as a brother and a friend. I never expected anything from her and I was contented with anything that she could give me. As long as she was happy and safe, I was fine.

Call me a martyr, but I loved her so freaking much. So much that I would jump off a cliff if she'd ask me to. I would anything just too see her smile until I still could, until she found the man who could love and protect her more than I did.

"Hey, you there?" Rose asked, snapping her fingers in front of my face, "I asked you something." Her tone became sultry and taunting, very tempting little creature.

"Yeah...you're so beautiful it hurts. You are unique, only you have those piercing chocolate brown eyes tha made me wish I could drown in them. And your face...just so amazing, even beauty queens would be jealous of you. Your hair looks red when struck by sunlight. It's so smooth, silky and smelled like freesias." I caressed her hair and her eyes closed. She moved and rested her head on my chest. I had one arm wrapped around her waist and another still on her hair.

"Then why did Adrian leave me?" she cried.

"Because he doesn't know how to appreciate beauty, it's his loss, not yours."

She laughed shakily, a proof that she had been crying. That moment, silence seemed the best comfort. I let her cry herself to sleep o release her anguish.

She fit perfectly in my arms, like she truly belonged there. I loved having her in there and cherished each second of it. I feel comforted with her presence and it was like in this position, I could defend her from any harm. Not like when she was with Adrian.

Some may call me a perv for liking someone who was so much younger than me, but hell, even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop bmy heart.

When she started seeing Ivashkov, who himself was older than her, just for two years though and me seven, I felt an emotion I never felt toward someone. Jealousy.

I hated how he could make her smile with his paintings because I used to do that, just by singing her favorite songs even if I didn't have the voice, when he'd whisper those things that made her smile and smile blush, when he'd hold her in his arms while they were watching TV. It was most excruciating when I see them kiss so passionately. Those were the moments when I wish I was the one who she was with. To touch her in a different way, to taste and savour her soft lips and to tell her whenever and wherever that I loved her.

It was wishful thinking, but not impossible. Maybe if I wait, she'd feel the same with me too, but that was the problem. I didn't have the time to wait. My time was running out and I'm afraid it wasn't long enough for her to develop feelings for me.

I'm scared of the fact that I was slowly crumbling inside, that one of these days, I'd broke my promise to her that would never leave her.

* * *

**Oh, where would he go?**

**Comments? Suggestions?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


	5. Nothing Everything

**Sorry for it took me so long.  
**

**Hope you enjoy!  
**

**Song: Nothing Everything by Mandy Moore  
**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Five: Nothing Everything  
**

The show would finally start today.

Yesterday, we arrived here in Montana. I bought enough clothes and necessities for myself that would last for at least a month. Going back to my house would attract my neighbor's attention.

Since I didn't have a car to wreck, it would just be that I got hit by a drunk driver still in my wedding dress. About the hospital records, we handled it perfectly. I have a college friend and her father was working as a doctor in the hospital. Everything was settled.

Dimitri and I were having breakfast in his living room as I explained to him what we'd do today.

"So, you say that I don't remember anything, I have amnesia."

"Okay," he said while chewing his cereal.

Everything was perfectly set that afternoon. Lissa, Christian, Jill, Eddie, and Adrian parents were invited to Dimitri's house and they arrived about four thirty in the afternoon.

We were all in his living room, waiting for the big announcement he'd say. Everyone had been trying to talk to me, but I was just staring at them in confusion. I was acting like I didn't know what they were talking about. They were asking me where I went for the past few weeks. Adrian's parents looked bored and the others were getting impatient.

"So," Dimitri finally started. "Rose got into an accident after he wedding." His hand ran over his hair and gave a look as if he was so devastated. I wanted to give him a pat on the shoulder for his good acting.

Gasps filled the room, Lissa burst out crying. Christian held her and started hushing her. That moment, I was really having a hard time stopping myself from saying that I really didn't go through an accident. I hated seeing Lissa cry. We'd been best friends since we were in kindergarten. Since then, I promised myself that I would always protect her. But now, I was the one who was hurting her. If only I could, I would protect her from myself.

"We should tell Adrian," Daniella said calmly.

"You have contact with him?" Lissa asked her.

"Of course, he's my son."

"You know how to contact him and you didn't ask him to come back? You didn't ask him to apologize for what he did to Rose. How dare you?" Lissa seethed. "If he just returned, none of this would happen! Rose wouldn't be like this! She wouldn't be wounded, she wouldn't have amnesia."

Lissa was standing now. She looked like she was about to attack Daniella. I gave Dimitri a you-better-get-this-under-control look. Christian had his arms around Lissa's waist, stopping her from inching closer to Daniella. Daniella looked taken a back and her face paled.

Nathan finally spoke, "We better leave now. I promise that Adrian would be informed of this."

Dimitri ushered the couple out of the house and the tension left with them too. My friends asked if I was fine and I gave them a small nod. I was afraid that if I open my mouth, I might mess everything up. Lissa limped in Christian's arms and she began sobbing uncontrollably.

I couldn't help it. I stood from my seat and I went beside her. I gave Christian a look and he stayed away from Lissa. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay," I said awkwardly. I kept in mind that I shouldn't let my emotions slip or else everything would be over.

"Oh, Rose. I shouldn't have left you. I should have stayed with you in your house. I miss you," she said in her shaky voice. "I'm just so glad that you're still here. It's not important if you can't remember me, I'm still your best friend and you're mine."

"Always," I mumbled, not sure if she heard.

Soon, they had to leave too. Lissa had to finish some arrangements for the event she was handling. Since I was gone, Jill said that she was doing her best to help. I thanked her and when I could, I would come back.

_**Three weeks later…**_

I was losing hope.

My show had been running longer than how I wanted it. I swear if Adrian wouldn't show up tomorrow, I would admit that I never had amnesia.

My friends had been coming here in Dimitri's house in their attempts to 'restore' my lost memories. They brought photographs and videos where I was included. Most of them had been hilarious and our funniest moments together. I had a few slip ups and they took it as an indication that my memory was coming back.

Dimitri was always out these days. Sometimes he would leave early in the morning and come home after dinner. I had a feeling that he was busy with something or should I say someone.

I was getting bored and last week, I came back to work. Lissa couldn't be more delighted. I thought she would notice that I was too familiar in the office and I hadn't asked her even a single thing since I arrived.

At the moment, I was handling a wedding. I just came home from the flower shop to make rushed orders. This couple just knew that they were expecting and they wanted to be married before there could be a noticeable bump in the bride's stomach.

I really didn't want to accept this event at first because weddings reminded me of the worst day of my life. And then I thought, I was a professional and I wouldn't let a miserable forgettable experience destroy my life. This day was so hectic, not like this was the first time this had happened, but I was just so tired. I just wanted to sink in my bed and rest.

Surprisingly, the door knob wasn't locked. Looked like Dimitri was home. I couldn't wait to tell him how many bakeshops I'd been to because none would accept the design of the wedding cake that the bride wanted.

I entered.

Nobody was around. I went to look around but I found no traces of Dimitri. Maybe he was just sleeping in his room. I better start making dinner. I barely had time for lunch. I was starving to death.

I went to my room to change first and then I headed to the kitchen. I checked out the refrigerator and I found nothing but microwavable pizza. I believe we needed to visit the groceries soon. There were three varieties and I wasn't sure what Dimitri was in the mood for eating because the flavors were all his favorites.

So, I went to his room. I slowly opened the door and I was welcomed by a sound of a familiar voice. A woman's voice.

Tasha Ozera. Christian's aunt, Dimitri's assistant and one of my friends. I didn't know that it was her he was seeing. He never mentioned anything.

"Rose, you're home. I didn't hear you coming," Dimitri said coolly.

They both looked like they had just showered. _We're they…did they…_

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I was just…I…," I stuttered. "I'm going to my room."

I got to my room and locked it.

What happened to me?

Why am I crying? Shouldn't I be happy that he was finally seeing someone?

I hated myself so much right now because I was so selfish. I didn't want him to date someone because I knew that he wouldn't have time for me anymore. Everything about us would change. He wouldn't be here when I needed him, when I wanted to talk with someone. There would be no one to tell me those reassuring words when I feel so down. No more strong arms and crazy trips.

_Now, you will feel what he felt when you dated Adrian. _

* * *

**Oh, he's dating Tasha.**

**Review if you don't want Dimitri to end up with the wrong girl. Anything is possible in fanfic...hahaha.. jk :))  
**

**Comments? Suggestion?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


	6. You Need Me, I Don't Need You

**Oh, so you hate Tasha?  
**

**Enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
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* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Six: You Need Me, I Don't Need You**

"Rose, where are you going?" Dimitri asked later that night when Tasha had already left.

I was on my way to the door when I bumped into him. I thought writing a letter would be a better farewell so I didn't bother to disturb him in his room.

"I'm going home. You've done so much for me already. I'm going to end this stupid joke. Adrian's not coming back, I'm hurting my friends, I'm lying to everyone I know and I'm bothering you. I just…thanks for everything," I said, doing my best not to breakdown in front of him. He would only insist that I stay if he sees that I wasn't okay.

"Are you sure?"

"A hundred percent."

"Is it because of Tasha? Look, Rose—"

"You don't have to explain. I'm so happy for the both of you. I never thought that you two would end up together…but yeah, you are together. You and Tasha are perfect. You share a lot of things in common…really I'm just glad," I blabbered.

"I'll drive you home, it's already late," he offered.

"Sure."

He insisted on helping with my bags that I was carrying, but I told him that I could handle it since it wasn't that heavy. I only have a few belongings here, just the ones I brought and bought in Montreal.

I realized that I became too reliant on him all these years. I thought I was independent and that I could handle life alone, but I was wrong. All that I do, even if the things that would only benefit me I drag him with it.

Now that I learned my lesson, I promised myself that I wouldn't depend on others anymore. I should start growing up and doing things on my own. I might be a bit late, but not late enough.

Tomorrow, I'd be telling Lissa and others that nothing really happened to me, it was just that my wedding gown was burning and I was on it. I didn't expect them to forgive me right away, now that I realized my plan was impossible to happen. If Adrian cared about me and my feelings, he would have been here the day after his parents called him. It was almost a month for goodness' sake. Whatever the reason for his departure, I'm sure that it was nonsense and he just wanted to escape. He should've never asked me to marry him. None of this should have happened. Screw him. He was clearly a waste of time.

The whole time Dimitri was driving, I couldn't stop looking at him. I couldn't help but notice so many changes in him. He surely wasn't the same young man I met in the hospital when I was fourteen. He was a mature man with a bright future ahead of him. While me, I had no clue what path to take now. I wasn't even sure what I wanted anymore, but I know that wouldn't want to be married. It was better when I was alone. I had less problem and stress. I could focus more in my job. Lissa and I had started a business as soon as we got out of college. We plan events from birthdays to weddings, from invitations up to the reception. It was a tiring yet, a fulfilling job. It was so nice to see the contented smiles of your costumers especially when they tell you that their celebration made them so happy.

The day that I met Dimitri was when my mother was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. He was a nurse in the hospital; he was the one checking on my mom every now and then. He was so nice and he talked to me a lot, but I was ignoring him. I thought that no matter what he say, he couldn't help to heal my mom so he just better shut up.

It was when my mother had undergone her second surgery that I finally opened up to him. Just like the first time she had it, I was scared to death. I was afraid that I'd also lose her because I didn't have a father anymore. She was my only family and I had no idea what to do when I lose her too.

My mother and I were never that close, but I loved her. She might not be always there for me, I knew that she cared for me a lot, and that she was only gone most of the days because she wanted me to have a good future. She was working almost twenty hours a day for me even if I didn't and never knew what her job was. Until now, I was wondering what it was. I didn't know any of our relatives and I wasn't familiar with her friends.

Dimitri stayed with me all throughout the surgery up until my mother took her last breath. My mother was in coma for almost two weeks until her body finally gave up. I knew it had to be her body because she was a very brave person and she promised me that we would start a new life once she recovered.

I was in a black hole, world with nothingness. I cried until I had no more tears, because I had nobody left. I screamed until I had no voice because I was so angry at God for He took my mother from me when I needed her the most, when I realized how an amazing person she was and that she loved me so much. After all of that, I felt numb.

I was in a daze for days until I realized I wasn't in my home and I was sleeping in a different room. I learned my mother asked a favor from Dimitri. She asked him if he could take care of me until I was in the legal age and when I could stand up on my own. During my first days, even if he had become some sort of friend to me before my mother passed away, I ignored him. I hated Mom for handing me to a person that she barely knew.

That ignoring act didn't last long though. I couldn't help talking to him when he was doing his best in taking care of an orphan like me. Soon, I realized that I should just be thankful that I was with a very nice guy like him who treated me as a sister that in a foster home with more strangers who treat me like a maid. After a year, he quit being a nurse and opened the gym.

He became my best friend, my brother and my protector. He was an angel in my life and I would be forever thankful to him.

"We're here," he said, dragging me back to the present time.

I didn't notice that I had been so deep in my thoughts.

"Thank you." I gave him a genuine smile before getting out of the car.

He gave a disapproving look because he was supposed to open the door for me. Still wearing my smile, I shook my head. This time, I allowed him to carry my bags until I found my keys and opened the door. He set my bags inside, in the living room as I insisted. I told him that I could bring them to my room later.

I accompanied him to up to his car. I gave him a hug that was a bit too tight. I felt his arms around me a few seconds later.

"I'll miss you," I said low enough so only him would hear.

"Same here," he whispered, patting my back.

We pulled away from each other, but he still didn't enter his car.

There was a weird expression on his face. Was it sadness? It was so obvious that he was masking emotions that he didn't want me to see. Was he having a problem? I couldn't think of one though. He never mentioned things to me like he used to before. He was acting weird actually, but there was still the Dimitri that I knew.

"Rose," he started, "I'm leaving in two days."

"Where? How long will you be gone?" I asked immediately.

"To Russia, I'm bringing Tasha with me; I'm going to introduce her to my family. We'll be back after three weeks."

"Oh, why did you just tell me now?" I seethed.

"I don't know how to tell you. You know, if I can, I'll bring you there with us, but things are so complicated," he said calmly.

"It's like I can do anything with your decision. Tell Tasha and your family I said hello," I said and then I went inside my house without looking back.

* * *

**Dimitri, why are things so complicated? What did you do? haha :))**

**Thanks for sticking with me.  
**

**-ishi :)  
**

**P.S. I changed my username in Twitter to: ThisIsIshi .. follow me? We can talk about anything. :)  
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	7. Mistake

**Thank you so much for your reviews!  
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**Enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA  
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**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Seven: Mistake**

The following day, I cleaned the house and unpacked my things. I finally succeed on burning the paintings same as the wedding gown without getting me on fire. I never felt so free of anything like I do now. It was like I was another person, hopefully, a stronger one.

I would be having dinner with Lissa and our friends here in my house tonight. I ordered food that would arrive later at six. I would tell them the truth and that was final. I wasn't the kind of person who loved lying and maybe I would be able to sleep peacefully after the confession.

I was so tired with all that I did today and I didn't smell that pleasant anymore. I had a hot bath to relax my sore muscles. I haven't exerted myself on a physical activity for so long. I knew I'd get used to it soon. My job was very exhausting because I walk and stand all day. My legs actually hurt the most.

I dressed in a simple printed white shirt and cropped skinny jeans. I put on the slightest touch of makeup on my face, put on some cologne and I was ready. The doorbell rang then.

I ran to the front door, knowing that it would probably be Lissa because she liked to have some alone time with me before our friends could arrive or it was the food. Weird, fifteen minutes earlier than I told them.

Unfortunately, it was neither Lissa nor the delivery.

I thought I'd faint.

I felt so, so dizzy, but I also felt like I could kill someone.

"Rose?" he spoke as if he didn't know that it was me.

I thought I'd know what to say when this moment comes, but I was left speechless. My mouth felt so dry even if I had drank water not more than ten minutes ago. What the hell was happening with me? I feel like if I moved once, it would be a step toward the kitchen to grab a knife and stab it on his chest so he could feel what I felt.

_Think, Rose. If you kill him, you'll spend your whole life in prison._

"Who are you?" I asked, suddenly remembering that in their minds, I still have amnesia.

"So, it's true?" he looked at the almost gone scars on my bare feet. "You really have amnesia. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to you the day before. I—"

"Go inside first, neighbors are looking," I stated.

It was true. I didn't need a super vision to see that my neighbors were watching us. Rumors spread fast in my place since I lived in a small town. Earlier this day, I received a number of visits from the people around here. They all believed that I got into an accident and lost all my memories. They gave me a lot of foods, mostly cookies which I hated. Maybe they could have just given me doughnuts, I would highly appreciate it.

I let him sit in the living room while I prepared him coffee, not his brew of course. I took note to put a lot of sugar because he hated sweets. I also served some of the cookies I received, he hated them too, maybe one of the reasons why we got along before.

My friends would be here in less than half an hour. Seeing him here wouldn't be good. I was close to killing him, but I had the will to fight it. I didn't know if it was the same with Lissa or even Dimitri if he was here. Lissa almost attacked Daniella, but Christian stopped her.

I sat across Adrian.

I had a perfect view of him from where I was. Nothing had changed in him physically; he was still good-looking, but not appealing to me anymore. He was still using the same expensive perfume from France and wearing designer clothes. It was just now that I started to notice our greatest differences. I was glad I never married him.

"So, why did you come here? You're someone that I used to know, right? You look pretty familiar." Pretending was never easy, but I was trying. I hope he wouldn't notice.

"I wanted to apologize for that day," he said earnestly.

I wanted to laugh at his face and tell him that I wouldn't believe his lie this time. But I stayed quiet because my fury would get me into trouble.

"What day?" I played innocent again.

"The wedding, of course, you won't remember." _Of course, I will never forget that. _He spoke to me as if someone in my family just died.

"The wedding? My wedding? What did you do there? Why do you need to apologize?" I paused and then pretended to remember something. "You are the one who left me, aren't you?"

He nodded, avoiding eye contact.

It was weird on how easy it was for me to talk about it. If he came the day that I expected him to come which was after Dimitri told his parents that I lost my memories, I would probably be sobbing now. It wasn't painful anymore. I'd gone past through it because I shouldn't worry myself over someone as useless as him.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"Because I had to."

I finally cracked. "You had to?" I seethed.

"Someone needs me more than you do. I did love you, but I love someone else better."

"While you were in a relationship with me, you had an affair?"

"Yes."

"Get out of my house now," I said, controlling my anger and well, my hands because I might throw something on him.

"Rose, she was carrying my baby. I have to be there, she cannot provide for the both of them."

"Just leave, please," I pleaded.

I didn't even usher him out as he left. I wouldn't want to see the face of that cheater ever again.

The issue about the wedding didn't hurt, what hurt me was what he revealed to me. All those months where I thought he changed and we were finally happy were all lies. He had been happy in the bed of another woman. Oh God, I wish he would burn in hell. Allowing someone like him to still live should be illegal.

"Rose?"

"Didn't I tell you to leave?" I shouted.

"Hey, it's Lissa. Is something wrong? Sorry if we entered your house without knocking, your door was opened. Christian got the food by the way. I saw a car leaving your house and it looks like Adrian's car. Is it him?" Lissa asked.

I stood up to face her as she walked toward my direction.

"It's him. He came to apologize and tell me that he was with another woman and they had a child. I asked him to leave after that. I couldn't handle seeing his face." And unwanted tears finally fell from my eyes.

Lissa hugged me tight and gave me comforting words. Those words included a promise to torture Adrian.

"Liss?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't really have amnesia," I confessed.

And then she stiffened.

* * *

**Smells like trouble...  
**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)  
**

**P.S. Visit my blog, I have a post about my fanfic there, its (remove the spaces): justawhimsicalsoul. blogspot. com  
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**P.P.S. You guys living in the US got to see the scene after the credits of The Avengers. SO unfair ... T.T .. just kidding, haha.  
**


	8. Without You

**Thank you so much for your reviews!  
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**This chap reveals a lot of things.  
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**Enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Eight: Without You**

**(DPOV)**

It had been a week since Tasha and I left Montana. I wanted to call Rose the moment the plane landed, but I knew that she was still angry at me for keeping my departure with Tasha a secret. She didn't even go to my house to say goodbye like she normally does whenever I had to go to Russia. I knew if I told her earlier, she would find ways not to let me go.

There were other reasons for her to be mad at me. I lied to her about many things. I didn't tell her that Tasha and I were not together although she assumed. That day when she found us in my bedroom, nothing happened between me and Tasha. The sink in the kitchen broke while she was using it. I was the one who fixed it but it got a bit messy and both of us ended up being wet. We mopped the kitchen floor and I offered to lend her some of my clothes. We were just drying up when Rose found us. I should have explained, but it would be harder for me to create an excuse for my departure.

I was also one of Janine, Rose's mother's colleagues. It would shock the hell out of her since she had been asking me before if her mom had ever mentioned her job to me. They weren't always together so Rose barely had the chance to ask her mom. Their only time together was when Janine got sick. I really thought that she could recover because she was so strong, but fate wasn't that kind to them. She died and her last wish was for me to protect Rose so they couldn't find her, they shouldn't know that she exists. Once they did, they'd get her, and when she got there, she couldn't go back to her old life.

Janine, Tasha and I were undercover agents. It was a very dangerous job and far from those that could be read in books or watched in movies. Once you got yourself into it, there was no going back. You couldn't quit because it would result your death. No information should spill, because when an agent was being trained, too much information was being told to them. They should know all about the most important people in all industries, from those who were good to the evil ones. Janine did want to quit for Rose even she knew that it would be more danger to them. She didn't want that world anymore. I didn't know what was in her mind, hiding was useless because wherever they go, they would find them. But she died before she could even fight.

I wasn't really a nurse in the hospital where Janine was confined. My papers were all faked and my background there was pretty impressive so I got accepted immediately. It wasn't part of any of my mission, but I wanted to help Janine. I could see my mother in her. Rose's real father also left them just like what mine did to us. So in a way, Rose and I were on the same boat. It was just that she was alone and I had my family so I felt like I should always be there with her, because she was a part of my family and hopefully, in her heart, I was a part of hers too.

You should have a minimum of three cases a year and there is no maximum. Your salary also depended of how big your case was. Before I met Rose, I could take fifteen to twenty cases a year and earn a fortune, but now I could only take three to five cases so my absence wouldn't be that suspicious. My family knew of this and they kept it as a secret because once it came out, the unimaginable would happen and I didn't want them dead. I loved my family and they were one of the reasons why I did this job. My father wasn't there to support them so I took the job.

She kept no secret to me and I didn't know if she could forgive me when she knew the truth. She should never know, it would be for her own safety. Those who were in higher positions would kill just to have her; Janine was her mother, one of the greatest agents ever. She the only one who could work so flawlessly, she was so smart, strong and of course her greatest weapon, her beauty. She was often sent to seduce rich cruel men to gather information.

Obviously, I was called for a mission. I didn't know about it yet, but I know that this time, Tasha and I needed to pretend to be newlyweds and that it would be one of the biggest missions that I would handle. For sure, if we made one wrong move, we were dead. We had to be very careful. I wanted to go home and see Rose soon.

**(RPOV)**

I thought that they would leave me when I spilled the truth, but they didn't.

Lissa was so angry, so was Jill. She was crying and screaming at me. She said that I should never do that again because she was worried to death. She thought I wouldn't remember anything forever since it was taking so long for my memories to return.

To apologize was the only thing that I could do. I said that I couldn't expect them to accept my apology, but I was really sorry for what I did and I was in a crazy state when I thought of doing that. I also told them that Dimitri had nothing to do with what I did, that I only pleaded him to be a part of it. I revealed everything, all that happened when we left the church, my burns and the fake accident.

At the end of the night, we finished talking and I assured them that there were no secrets left. I was surprised that Lissa gave me a hug and then they all gave me one. I fooled them all, but they didn't stay angry at me for long. I told them that it was fine if they'd ignore me for awhile so that they could all cool down. And then they told me that they understand what pushed me to do it. Adrian should receive ninety-five percent of the blame.

It had been almost two weeks since Dimitri left with Tasha and I still hadn't heard from any of them. I tried to text him once and he didn't reply. Maybe they were having a great time there. I wish I could also meet Dimitri's family, but he never invited me there though he told me lots of things about them especially his hilarious grandmother.

I was getting more used to living alone and it kinda felt great, like an achievement. I need not to depend in another person anymore.

I settled to my bed to sleep. I was asleep as soon as my head hit my fluffy pillow.

I didn't know how many hours had passed or if it was morning already. I woke up, my was heart beating fast and I was sweating bullets. I had a nightmare. My worst nightmare.

Dimitri was shot on the chest and he died. My dream felt so real, like the gunshot was real and I had no voice to scream for help. He was bleeding to death, so pale.

I strangely felt so alone.

In the end, he would leave me too.

* * *

**So, that's their mystery job.**

**Thoughts? Suggestions?  
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**Visit my blog? justawhimsicalsoul. blogspot. com  
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**Thanks for reading!  
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**- ishi :)  
**


	9. Dead?

**Thank you sooo much for all your reviews!  
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**Sorry this is short and please don't hate me.  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
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* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Nine: Dead?**

**(DPOV)**

I never thought that this moment would come too soon. I was caught off guard. Nobody even warned me or gave me hints.

I couldn't go back anymore. No more Montana, no more Rose.

It was unexpected of them to tell me that after this mission, I would be working full-time. Apparently, without the agents being notified, the rules of the agency changed. We couldn't wander anywhere we wanted after our missions. They said that it was for security purposes and for our safety too. Many agents were being killed at the moment and the heads were afraid that none of us would be left.

They threatened us that they would kill our family if we tried to escape. So what could we do? Even if we leave, drag our families with us and hide, they could and would still find us. We were working in an agency that had connections all over the world.

There was only one thing to do so that I'd be able to cut all of my ties in Montana. It was to lie. A white lie, at least.

I had been staring at my phone, at Rose's picture for God only knows how long. I never wanted things to end up like this. I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye, to give her a hug. I would give anything just to see her smile and call my name again. I miss her so much and I'm never seeing her again.

I did what had to be done. I called Christian. He was Tasha's nephew and he knew about a job but like my family, he was keeping it a secret. Tasha was convincing him before to be a part of our organization, but he refused. That was a smart job because I wouldn't want him to end up like us. He was a great guy and he wasn't supposed to be doing things that would get him killed.

The phone rang three times before he answered it.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Christian, it's Dimitri," I said.

"What do you need?" he asked impatiently.

I sat on my bed before I continued talking to him.

"I need you to do me a favor," I said intently.

"Does this have to do something with your mission?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"Then don't count me in. I'm not part of that and I'm not going to be one. Good—"

"Please, Christian, this is the last. I'm not going back there," I pleaded.

He didn't hang up the phone but he remained silent. About thirty seconds later, he talked again, full of rage.

"What the hell are you thinking? You're just gonna leave like that? What about Rose?"

"You don't understand, her life is at stake, my family, too if I leave. They have their hands wrapped around our necks," I explained as calmly as I could.

"What are you talking about? Aunt Tasha is not coming back, too?"

"Unfortunately, yes," I said, "You have to do something for me now, my last wish. It will be for the good for all of you."

"Tell me."

"Tell all of them that I am dead."

**(RPOV)**

Today was the wedding of Jesse and Avery. It was the rushed wedding that I had been planning for the past few weeks. And in those weeks, I still hadn't heard anything from Dimitri or Tasha. It was weird that he still hadn't called and both their phones couldn't be reached. I was getting a bit worried.

Most of the time, I was invited in the events that I plan especially weddings, but I seldom show up because I was busy. I was actually busy right now. I have two weddings to plan and an eighteenth birthday. I just wanted to get distracted so my mind wouldn't drift to Dimitri. My dreams were weird, always scarier than the previous and they had the same endings. Dimitri's death.

Before the wedding started, I saw Avery and Jesse together. They arrived together not the like the tradition that the groom couldn't see the bride until she had to walk down the aisle. They looked so happy and in love. It was like they were in their own little world where it was just them and their baby. Many judgmental people would say that they were only getting married because Avery was pregnant. If they had just known those two, they would know that they were meant to be together. They were one of the few who had found their soul mates. From the looks of both of them, they were happy that they had a reason to be married and be together forever. That baby inside her was very lucky; it had very kind and loving parents.

The wedding, thankfully, flew seamlessly.

It was just kinda painful to watch how my life should have ended, but I was happy too that it didn't end that way. I was happy that I didn't get to marry a guy who would just cheat on me on the end of the day. Those two were just so sweet and they were like a naïve teenage couple although they were both twenty-five.

The priest pronounced them man and wife, they kissed, all of us stood up and gave them a round of applause.

Just like that, I planned another happily ever after. I wonder when I'd be able to have my own.

I didn't go to the reception because I had so many things to finish this afternoon. I had to needed to go to the bakeshop for the cakes and to look for good receptions if I still had time.

I was inside the cab when my phone started ringing.

It was Christian.

I answered it; I hadn't yet uttered a word when he spoke.

"Rose, something happened to Dimitri."

"What?" I almost dropped my phone in shock.

My heart started beating erratically fast in anxiety. Tears were pooling in my eyes and I was praying that it wasn't what I thought.

"He's gone, Rose. Aunt Tasha and Dimitri got stranded in a burning cabin. Their bodies were found, almost recognizable, but the police said that it was only them who rented that cabin. I'm really sorry. I guess I'll talk to you later. Lissa and I will be in your house at eight. Bye."

He hung up the phone.

I suddenly hoped that this was just a dream.

* * *

**Tell me guys, do you still like where the story is going. I thought it doesn't go with the summary anymore. Do you think I should change the summary?**

**Comments? Suggestions?  
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**talk to me on Twitter: ThisIsIshi  
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**Thanks for reading!  
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**-ishi :)  
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	10. Wake Me Up

**I got plenty of responses on the prev chap about the summary and it is now changed. You should check it out.  
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**Thank you so much for all your reviews, suggestions and even criticisms. They really helped me a lot.  
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**Enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
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* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Ten: Wake Me Up**

**(RPOV)**

It was weird that my life had been almost perfect just a month ago and now every single day was like a living hell.

I cried a lot. Sometimes I didn't know that I do because they just fall down and I never noticed. My friends were getting worried at me and they were afraid that I'd do something reckless. I was always the wild one in the group. It was just so hard to experience the same pain when I lost my mother. I thought I didn't have to go through it again, but yeah, I did.

I didn't shut down myself this time. I thought I had spent enough time mourning. I went on with my daily routine. I ate, I work, I sleep and I did everything that I normally do, but still, nothing felt right. It was like no matter what I do, things wouldn't be back to normal. It was really hard and exhausting.

It had been three days now since Christian told me the news about Dimitri. I didn't go on with my plans that day which effectively ruined my whole schedule that was why I had tons of work to do this week. Another thing, the gym was closed. If I only had enough money for it, I'd be the one to operate it.

I was pretty devastated because of Dimitri's sudden death and I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure if it was reality or I was still in my dreamland. I cried all night, ignored all my calls same as Lissa and Christian who promised to give me a visit that night. I didn't want anyone to see my fragile side, except from him; from Dimitri because I knew that he was always there to protect me from anything.

Maybe his death was something that I never get used to. It just didn't feel right. Was it weird that I could still feel him? Tell me that I'm insane but I feel like he was just somewhere out there, somewhere far but still existing. Or it was just that I couldn't accept the reality that he was forever gone, that he broke his promise to me that he would never leave me? I hated myself for holding on to it, for believing him because nothing lasts forever.

Today, I went going to Emily's house to show her the options for the invitation of her eighteenth birthday. She loved pink like most of the girls and I'm not one of them, I prefer brown, red, and black. I got her all the pink samples that I could find and she had a handful of choices. She promised me that she would send me the one she had chosen tomorrow so that we could print the copies soon. At the moment, she had estimated three hundred guests.

It was easier for me to get by if I did a lot of things during the day because I'd be too exhausted to think of anything when I get home. As soon as my head hit my pillow I was asleep. Yeah, I was so tired. I also barely had a decent meal because I forgot to eat. It was just that hunger never came to me and if it wasn't necessary for my survival, I wouldn't touch it.

I showered, wore my pajamas, drank milk and headed to bed. I turned off all the lights and I was ready to have another deep dreamless sleep when my phone started blaring. I made it clear to my clients that they could only contact me until nine pm and it was already ten fifteen.

Even though the call pissed me off because I was so damn tired, I still answered it. I had to be nice or I'd lose my costumers. The joys of being an event planner.

"Hello?" I answered lazily.

"Is this Roza Hathaway?" a woman asked in a familiar accent.

The name made me sit up on my bed. Only one person called me that. He barely did though when I asked him to stop because I didn't like the name that much and now I'd give anything just hear him say that name again.

"Yes, but I prefer to be called Rose. May I know who this is?" I said, a bit unsure.

"This is Olena Belikov," she answered.

"Olena? Dimitri's mother?" I said in shock. "Oh my God, it's so nice to finally talk to you."

"Believe me, Dear, I feel the same. It could have been better if I had to talk to you for a different reason and not because of a tragedy. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm coping though it's hard, how about you?"

"There is no single day that I wished he just didn't leave Montana and I should have stopped him because he could have the trip anytime and there was no rush."

"Sometimes I wish I did that, too. But I was angry at him and I really regretted that day. I shouldn't have been mad at him for finding a woman who could love him. I was so selfish."

"Shh… It's okay, just please don't cry. There had been a lot of tears this past few days and I needed a break. Even just for a few minutes. I'm getting tired of it," she said softly.

"I know how you feel, but I just can't stop it. It hurts so much."

Thankfully, she shifted the topic from Dimitri's death to his childhood. It was the first time that I ever talked to her yet I feel like I've known her forever. I get it now why Dimitri loved her so much. She was a good mother and based on her stories, she had taken care of him with the best of her abilities. I also learned that his body was cremated because it was badly burnt same as Tasha's body which would be sent to her parents' home.

"Can you go to Russia for his funeral? Our family would truly be grateful if you do. You are a very important person to him and my daughters like you a lot."

"Okay, I'll go."

* * *

**Time for the truth to unravel when she gets to Russia.**

**Comments? Suggestions?  
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**Thanks for reading!  
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**-ishi :)  
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**P.S. I feel so bad right now. Lady Gaga and Ian Somerhalder are here in the Phlippines. Allison Harvard is coming soon too. I'm not gonna see even one of them. I don't live in Manila so there are minimal chances that I'd even catch a glimpse of them.  
**


	11. A Home

**Thank you sooo much for your reviews!  
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**I borrowed a few lines from Blood Promise, by the way.  
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**Hope you enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Eleven: A Home  
**

**(RPOV)**

When I asked Lissa if I could take a week or two off because Olena invited me to Russia, she said yes immediately. I was kinda feeling guilty for accepting many events because I had to pass them all to her and she had her own ones to manage. She said that it was fine because Jill was going to help her when she had free time from school.

Olena and Dimitri's sister, Viktoria fetched me in the airport. I knew them from the pictures that Dimitri showed me. Dimitri looked a lot like his mother who was also tall. Why was it that wherever I went, I was the smallest? I was like Mom, maybe if I got some genes from my father who died before I was even born I was taller than I was right now. Mom said that she had no pictures of them left since they all burned in our old house. When she described what he looked like, all I could picture was a Turkish man. Maybe he was one, I never asked anyway. I think I got my skin color from him. When I started growing up, he just didn't cross my mind anymore and I stopped asking questions about him. Not that Mom was around to answer my questions.

Rose Hathaway was once a very independent girl. I did all things without asking for anyone's help. At the age of eight I learned so many things because it was when my mom stopped coming home every day. I cooked meals every day, I washed my clothes, I cleaned the house, and all the other things that should be my mom's responsibility. She told me that I didn't need to do those things and that I she could hire someone to do it for me, but I refused. I had a hard time trusting strangers and I didn't want them staying in our house. Dimitri spoiled it by spoiling the hell out of me. When I lived with him, I felt like a real-life princess. He did all things for me and gave me all I want. He practically gave me the world yet I was ungrateful; I wanted to deprive him from his happiness. I feel so bad that I didn't even have to chance to repay him for the things he did for me.

"We're here," Olena announced.

Viktoria helped me get some of my bags out of the van and offered to carry one since I had three. She looked so much like Dimitri that it was almost painful to look at her because I was afraid that I would cry. She told me that I would be staying with her tonight if I didn't plan to book in a hotel. Well, I didn't plan on staying anywhere but here.

We were in front of a not so big two storey house, but it looked so homey. My house back in Montana might look big, but it felt cold and empty inside since I had no family to share it with.

I felt arm around my shoulders and it was Olena's. "Let's go in? You might want to eat and rest," she said.

I nodded and then we all entered the house. People close to them would be coming tomorrow so it was just the family there and I was thankful for that.

Inside, we were welcomed by a very pregnant young woman, Sonya, another sister of Dimitri. She was smiling brightly at me, just like when Olena first saw me. Her eyes looked a bit bloodshot, like mine. She had been crying too. It must be hard to be stressed for someone who was pregnant like her. I hope she was feeling well.

Then a small boy emerged from the stairs. Again, I saw another creature that looked like Dimitri. He was just a child, maybe four or five. They practically looked the same and if I didn't know Dimitri, I might think that he was his son. Soon, a woman followed him, chiding him in their native language. The boy only looked up at her and mumbled something.

"Hey, so you're Dimka's girl?" The woman asked.

I gave her a puzzled look and she laughed as she walked toward me.

"I'm Karolina, I was born after Dimitri. It's nice to meet you," she said, extending her hand to me. I took it and shook it awkwardly.

Olena cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. She said that we should all head to the kitchen to eat the meal that she prepared earlier.

There I found the infamous grandmother of Dimitri. She looked so, so old. She was stirring something in the pot and I must say that it really smelled good. When she noticed that we were there, she turned to look at me.

"Uh…Hi, I'm Rose Hathaway, Dimitri's friend," I said nervously. The way she looked at me, it gave me chills.

She said something in their language, but her voice was so low that even if it was in English, I wouldn't understand. Viktoria let out a low chuckle and the others shook their heads. I remained expressionless. I felt so out of place but I didn't let it show.

We all took our seats and they all looked at me when I was seated like I was some strange specie.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"That's Dimika's seat," Sonya said.

"Oh, if you don't want me to—"

"It's fine, it's the only seat left anyway. Do you expect us to let you stand up while you eat because you sat there?" Karolina said. She let out a small laugh with the slightest hint of annoyance.

Was it just me or they all knew that Karolina didn't like me very much? I could feel it with the way she looked at me and when she talked. How could she hate me when she barely even knew me? I wonder what made her like that toward me.

Black bread and soup was served by Olena. It was my first time to eat something Russian and I was afraid that I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't want to disappoint the family. I had a trauma when I ate in a foreign restaurant. I ordered something with a very nice name but it didn't taste that good, it almost made me throw up. All I ate now was anything American or Italian just to be safe.

When I took my first bite of the black bread, I couldn't seem to stop. It was tangy and sweet and the tastiest bread that had ever touched my taste buds. The soup was good too, but not as good as the bread. I noticed that I was the first one to finish mine and I was so embarrassed. I was never lady-like like Lissa; I guess I got this from living with a man almost half of my life.

Great, I was done yet I was still craving for that damn bread. I would have to ask Olena how to make it.

She seemed to read my thoughts. "Do you want more of the bread, Dear?"

I nodded shyly and she smiled. She stood up from her seat to get more of the bread and served it to me.

"That's Dimitri's favorite," she said wistfully. "He ate a lot when he was younger, and maybe until before he…you know. The girls were never like him. He could eat at least a loaf." And then she looked at me and smiled. "I think I found his match. You know, the way you move…it's so much like Dimitri."

I didn't get what she was trying to say, but I proved one thing. I could really eat a lot and Dimitri and I were just the same, I never admitted it to myself until now. It was where my curvy figure came from. My mom was much more petite.

"You know, there was this one time where I got tired from making it every day and asked him to make his own. He ate so much without even working for it so I think he deserved that."

Dimitri could cook, but I never imagined him baking. It was just something so feminine and with his large frame, you wouldn't really think that he does.

"I can't imagine Dimitri baking bread," I admitted.

**...**

After the meal, Viktoria led me to her room so I could place my things there. Then we headed to Dimitri's room where his ashes were located. I asked her to leave me when we got there. I needed to be alone and think.

It was something that looked like a cream colored vase sitting on top of a table near the window. Tears flowed from my eyes as I neared where he was right now. I couldn't believe that he was in there, and that his body was there. My Dimitri was there.

I let my fingers touch the cold porcelain, but not too long because I could barely keep up with the pain that I was feeling. He was really gone and never coming back. Even when he promised me that he would. He never broke his promise and that was what made it hard for me to believe the truth.

I walked around his bedroom which was a lot smaller than what he had in Montana. I memorized each small detail of it because it was him. I was almost with him while I was in here. His favorite clothing article, a duster was lying on his bed. They said that they haven't touched his bedroom since he last left. It was a little bit messy, but it was normal for guys.

There were photographs of his family, his schoolmates and friends on the wall, a mini bookshelf that contained his favorite books which was located near his closet, and what moved me the most was my picture which was on a frame on his nightstand. It was taken during my eighteenth birthday in his house where we celebrated it simply. I remember Lissa dressing me in that black dress. The first night that I actually felt beautiful.

I didn't know what came to me but I started looking at his nightstand drawer. There was a possibility that it was locked, but still I tried to pull it open. There were a lot of papers in it, maybe documents.

It was also where I found an envelope where my mother's name was written.

* * *

**I know, I didn't reveal much, but it would be on the next chapter, I promise. I really have to leave now...**

**Comments? Suggestions?  
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**Thanks for reading!  
**

**-ishi :)  
**

**P.S. I really hate those who are protesting against Lady Gaga. I am a catholic myself and I don't think she is affecting my faith or my personality. She is a great artist and just being herself.  
**


	12. Bonfire

**Hope you enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Twelve: Bonfire**

The night when I found the envelope, I didn't bring it back inside the drawer. I kept it inside my shirt as I exited Dimitri's room. I thought that it would take me time if I would read it there because it was pretty thick. Olena or Sonya could walk in on me and see me invading Dimitri's things when clearly they hadn't touched any since he last left.

I had dinner with them later and there were still some tension between me and Karolina. She kept giving me glances that really annoyed me, but I had to keep my annoyance to myself because I needed to be nice to the family. I felt like I was paying back Dimitri by being courteous and generous to his family. They were really nice, even Yeva who didn't know how to speak in English.

Paul, Dimitri's nephew and Karolina's son was an adorable child though he was just almost six. He kept coming to me, to Sonya's room to ask me questions about his uncle. He was Dimitri's number one fan and he listened attentively when I talked about Dimitri. I was thinking that he was too attached to his uncle because he grew up without a father and Dimitri was the only one who could give him that love for he was the only man in the house except the boy. Paul and I were just the same, we both didn't have a father and maybe that was why I felt at ease with him.

At early morning the next day, people started coming to the house. Dimitri's ashes were transferred to the living room, the largest part of the house. I tried to help Olena with making food, but I didn't have any clue on what she was doing so I thought I could be most productive by just making coffee.

Most of the expected guests were there by the time the moon appeared. There weren't much, but enough to almost fill the room. Only closest ones as Olena said. Even Dimitri's childhood friends were there and it was bothering me that most of them were female. I couldn't stop myself from thinking that some of them were his ex-girlfriends.

I just finished changing my clothes when Viktoria entered her room and dragged me to their backyard.

"What's happening here?" I asked her when I spotted a bonfire inside the circle of people who were eating something and drinking what looked like alcohol.

"I thought you knew. We do this whenever somebody in the family passes away. We talk about him, stories about him and memories of him," she answered.

I didn't look that presentable with my cropped jeans, black shirt, no makeup face and my hair in a messy bun. They were all talking when Viktoria and I took our seats beside one of Dimitri's male friends. I tried to focus on what they saying, but I couldn't understand a thing. Viktoria sometimes translate them to me, but she was so fast that I couldn't keep up.

As the evening progressed, I started understanding some of the story. Olena was so kind to sit beside me and translate the words even clearer. Now I laughed when they did and cried, too. They talked about Dimitri's kindness to them, him while growing up and funny stories, too.

When Olena stopped translating and all became silent, I noticed their eyes staring at me.

"What are they looking at?" I asked Viktoria.

"They wanted you to talk about Dimitri while he was in Montana," she answered.

I almost lost all of the sanity left in me when she said those words. There was no way in hell that I would be able to do that without hurting myself in the process and I didn't think I could survive if the wounds get opened again. I knew that in just a snap, all the stitches would be destroyed.

"I can't do that," I said sternly. "It hurts me to talk about him."

"Just tell them what he was like while you were with him, some stories and then you are done."

"Why can't you just be the one to speak up? You're his sister, right?"

"They know what I know, what they have no clue of is what he was like while he was with you," she explained.

I looked back at the people and they were looking at me expectantly. "Okay, translate it for those who can't understand," I said in defeat.

Before I started, Olena gave me a cup of what they were drinking.

"It will make things easier," she said with a weak smile.

I took a sip of the clear liquid and it took all of my guts no to spit it out. It tasted so bitter and like fire on my throat.

"What's this?"

"Vodka?" Olena said in confusion.

"This isn't vodka; I know how it tastes like."

"Well, it's Russian," she said nonchalantly.

I started talking, all eyes were on me. I didn't talk about when he first found me crying in the hospital, I talked about the times he made me happy and when he defended me. It was like I was talking about some sort of a legendary hero because they were so hooked with my story.

I didn't notice that as I talked, I was downing more cups of the vodka. It didn't taste that bad anymore and it did make things easier…but not for long.

The night flew by painfully slow and I was in tears again. I was a sobbing mess and I could care less. They gave me their sympathy like I was Dimitri's girlfriend or weirder—wife. Maybe I was just over thinking things since their voices were being a bit fuzzy and my vision wasn't that good anymore. In simpler words, I was drunk.

One by one, people were saying their farewell to the family and some would even hug me. Among all of them, one took my attention.

A guy, a few inches smaller than Dimitri and quite good looking patted my shoulder. And oh, he could speak English. "Dimitri was so lucky to be with a girl like you. His mother was so happy when he finally found you."

"What? Dimitri and I are not together, we're just best friends," I said defensively."

"Really, all these people thought that you two were getting married."

"No, Dimitri is with Tasha." I almost laughed.

"Really? Tasha is a distant relative of theirs, you must be mistaken."

* * *

**Okay, not the chapter I planned, but I wanted to update before tomorrow because we are leaving early.**

**What do you think about another revelation?  
**

**Another thing, they all don't know that Dimitri is still alive. The rest of the story is going to be in RPOV.  
**

**Thanks for reading!  
**

**-ishi :)  
**

**P.S. What do you think about Phillip Phillips winning and Jessica Sanchez losing American idol? Honestly, I'm fine with it. I love both their voices.  
**


	13. Lie After Lie

**I'm really really sorry about the delay. I was supposed to upload this earlier but there were some technicalities with my computer. Thank you so much for reading!**

**This short chap has a lot in it, don't worry.**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy**

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Thirteen: Lie After Lie**

Tasha was Dimitri's relative.

After the man said that, I excused myself from the family. I headed to the kitchen sn I could be alone to think.

All I could think of was that Dimitri lied to me. It was so obvious but I didn't want to believe it. He never lied to me. _But the words came out so clear from his mouth._ I might be drunk but I was far from hallucinating.

I kept thinking until my head ached. I didn't know if it was because of the vodka or the fact that I recently knew.

I looked around the kitchen for something that could remedy my headache. There must be some painkillers here.

After what seemed like ages of searching, one bottle caught my attention. It looked so tempting.

It would make things easier, as Olena said earlier.

Looking around if anyone was looking or coming, I snatched the vodka bottle from the kitchen counter.

Sneakily, I headed upstairs. Apparently, there were still a few people left and they had to clean up so I would be alone here for a few more minutes.

I was in Sonya's room when I remembered something. The papers.

Quickly, with the bottle in one hand and another opening my duffle bag, I brought out the envelope.

The envelope was made of something thick, but it was still paper.

My impatient side won and in two seconds, I was tearing the lid of the envelope. Nobody would care and I had a right to do it because it was named after my mother.

I took a swig of the vodka first before letting the contents fall on the bed. I sat in front of it and took a random paper.

I knew that this had nothing to do with Dimitri's lie, but there was a part of me that was itching to know what was inside it.

Looked like what I got was a birth certificate.

_Rosemarie Hathaway Mazur_

Mazur? What kind of surname was that? I thought I wasn't named after my father because he died anyway before I was born and him and Mom were not married. And I thought that my father's name was Ivan Moore.

Could it possibly be another lie?

Another document was stapled behind it, another birth certificate. There, I was just Rosemarie Hathaway and was born in California just like what I knew. I remember moving to another house, in Montana when I was about five. It was where I grew up and met Lissa. My father's name was not in there, I knew that. But what really confused me was why there were two of them? Which one was real? The one saying that I had a different father and I was born in Turkey or the one that I had always believed in?

My head pounded.

I wouldn't be able to sleep the night with all of these things.

Both my mom and Dimitri could possibly be lying to me. The most important people in my life aside from Lissa.

There were still lots of papers left for me to read. They would be upstairs in no time since almost an hour had passed now. They couldn't find me with these things.

There was a pen and a sticky note pad on the nightstand. I wrote on one, telling that I wanted to stay in Dimitri's room because earlier had been real hard for me. I didn't want to be distracted and I wanted to be with just myself.

I placed the contents back to the torn envelope and tucked it beneath my shirt. I headed to Dimitri's room and locked it carefully.

The half empty bottle was safely cuddled in my chest as I sat on Dimitri's bed.

Gulp after gulp. The bitter taste of the liquor was weirdly comforting and relaxing. After quite a long swig, it was gone and I wanted more.

It really made things better. I felt braver and numb.

I was more than ready to face the truth about who I really was.

One by one, I read the papers. I found myself taking more documents from Dimitri's magical nightstand.

...

I learned so much tonight, but there were still questions bugging me. I wanted them answered as soon as possible.

In just one night and a few minutes, I learned that nothing was ever true about me. I'd been living a lie ever since. I wasn't even sure if I knew myself.

All I knew was lie after lie. It freaking irritated the hell out of me. Anguish filled every vein in my body and all I wanted was to throw everything around me. I felt like I was going to exploded. The unanswered questions made me feel so frustrated. Why did they have to be both dead when I needed them?

Dimitri wasn't a nurse, he never went to college. Tasha was his cousin. He hadn't been in Russia since the last time he went home was three years ago.

Mom's job was never mentioned. There were no other things about her except from lots of fake id's that I found, it was almost fifty. The papers were mostly about me though. And there was a letter addressed to Dimitri.

_June 27, 1998_

_Dimitri Belikov,_

_If you received this, it only meant that I didn't survive._

_I want to ask a huge favor from you. I'm not forcing you to, but I know how you feel about your family, and that's how I feel about my daughter and only family, Rosemarie. She is my world and my everything. I love her with all of my heart._

_I don't want them to find her. He can't know that she's alive. I don't want Rose in there. Please take care of her, make sure that they won't track her. I trust you even though we'd only worked together once._

_I have all my money transferred in your personal account. You can use it for her, for whatever she wants, for her college and everything._

_Thank you very much and tell her that I love her._

_~ Janine Hathaway_

Hard to admit, even though I was angry at both of them, I was in tears. Maybe because of too much anger and I feel betrayed.

This was more hurtful than the day that Adrian didn't show up in our wedding day.

Why can't they tell me? What was their business?

Why did they have to make me believe in their lies?

* * *

**Oh, she found out the truth. **

**Comments? Suggestions?**

**let's talk on twitter, you can find me at: thisisishi**

**Thanks you so much for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


	14. New Life

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry that it took time for me to update. My sched is really complicated and school had just started. I promise UD's will be sooner and I'll have a new Twilight story posted soon.  
**

**Thanks for sticking with me and I'll post the other half of the chap later when I get home. I have to leave for school now!  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Fourteen – New Life (Part One)  
**

As I had expected, I woke up with a hell of a headache. I don't regret anything that I did last night, though. I could care less about the hangover that I have now, what important to me was what I found out last night.

I needed to know where my _father _was, the one who was written in my other birth certificate. He might be able to answer the questions which were bugging me ever since I could remember.

With those answers, I could finally know who I really am and how Dimitri knew my mother. The first step to that was to leave this house and go to the address that I found in Dimitri's closet this time. I got a little adventurous in here in his room last night that I decided looking for any documents that could help me figure out their job. I only found lots of documents, and most of them belonged to strangers. Some of them looked really rich.

I found so stuffs about Ibrahim Mazur, particularly, a calling card. It had a few numbers and the address of the company. It could be the company where my mom worked. If she worked there and Dimitri could possibly be working there to before he died. What could they possibly do with other people's records? What kind of agency does that that they allow their employees to bring home documents that were confidential and should be kept in the office?

With my wobbly feet and blurry eyes, I got up from bed. Not caring about my messy hair and my unpleasant appearance, I got out of the room together with some useful documents with me. I would just take a bath, say goodbye to the family and then leave. I still have a week and a few more days in my leave and I believe that was enough time for me to find the address of Ibrahim Mazur's workplace.

There stood Olena when I opened the door. She was giving me a disapproving look with her arms crossed.

Maybe if I hadn't found these documents, I wouldn't want to leave this soon. I'd only spent three days with me and they'd given me the best treatment that I had ever received. It could have been better if Dimitri was here and if Karolina was treating me with respect, then everything would be perfect. Talking to her about that matter would be useless since I would be leaving later.

"I…I'll use the bathroom if you'll excuse me," I said with my croaked voice.

"You stole the last bottle of vodka last night and you locked up this room," she said.

"So what if I did?" I asked rudely and regretted it as soon as I realized what came out of my mouth.

"I just don't want to see you like that. I asked you to drink last night so you let the words flow out of your mouth without any difficulty, so you could release your emotions. I didn't ask you to drown yourself in alcohol."

"Don't chide me, you're not my mom," I said dismissively and walked past her.

"I thought Dimitri took good care of you, you're very disrespectful," she said with her back still turned from me. There was something in her voice that made me stop. She was crying…and well, shaking.

Deep inside of me, I didn't mean all the things that came out of my mouth. I thought that maybe if I'd be rude to them, they'd all be thankful that I left. They were the only memory of Dimitri I had left. If they only knew how painful for me to watch them mourn for someone who had been barely there because of me. I hate myself for asking him not to leave a couple of time in the past few years. It's just now that I realized that I took Dimitri away from them yet they were treating me as if I was their own.

"Olena, look, I'm sorry. It's just that—"

And then we heard an ear-piercing scream.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and till later,**

**ishi :)**


	15. New Life P2

**This is a day late, I'm so sorry I was too tired to write yesterday.  
**

**Here's the continuation. Hope you enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Fourteen: New Life (Part Two)**

The scream made us go downstairs in lightning speed.

When Olena and I arrived in the living room, I honestly expected to see a burglar or someone who broke in to the house, but we only saw Sonya. She was on the floor, her arms wrapped around protectively in her stomach and her face was contorted with pain.

Olena ran to where she was laying and spoke very rushed Russian words to her. Of course I didn't understand a thing. I could only see Sonya mumbling incoherent words and nodding every once in a while. She was sweating heavily and she looked like she was close to crying.

"Roza, help me bring her upstairs, she's going to give birth very soon," Olena said abruptly.

I moved from where I was as soon as the words left her mouth. We helped Sonya climb the short flight of stairs up to her room. I knew she was having contractions since she was gripping us a little too hard and I knew that I was going to have bruises on my arm and on my shoulder. Olena left the room to get something when Sonya was already on bed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to me through her pained voice.

"It's fine. You shouldn't think of me right now, you should think of your condition and you're baby. I can't believe I'm going to see your baby soon. You didn't tell me that you're having the baby this month," I said.

"It's three weeks early," she said with a weak smile before she was again consumed with pain.

I knew I could do nothing so I just held her hand.

I didn't really know what to feel at this moment. Five minutes I was ready to go and now here I was watching Dimitri's sister give birth, I haven't even washed my face or brushed my teeth. I know I must be reeking because of all the alcohol that I drank last night. How could she even stand my condition right now, maybe she just didn't have any choice since her other sisters still wasn't showing up.

I tried to help Olena with all the things that she was carrying but Sonya only gripped my hand tighter.

"Stay, she can manage." She gave me a weak smile.

…

Soon I had to leave the room. Her sisters took my position as I showered and tidied myself. I came back after two hours. I bought coffees and pastries in a nearby café since none of us had eaten anything since we woke up and I know that Olena is too busy monitoring Sonya to cook.

They took the food, thankfully even Karolina. Paul was happy with a slice of chocolate cake that I got for him. That boy couldn't stop talking and asking so many things at the same time. Sometimes he would speak in Russian and I would only nod at him and pretend that I heard him.

Six more hours passed and the baby wasn't out yet. I was getting a bit bored so I asked if I could take Paul for a walk. He was also bored as hell as me so he got very excited.

They allowed me to borrow their car so I brought Paul to the nearest McDonalds. Olena would surely kill me because I heard she once said that she didn't want her children eating in fast-food because it was unhealthy. She wouldn't know anyway, Paul promised that it would be our secret and I swore that I we'd go here again if he fulfilled his promise.

We devoured fries and sundae, Paul also played a bit and then we left.

We were on our way back to their house when he started babbling again.

"Aunty Rose, you know when I grow up, I want to be like my Uncle Dimitri," he said.

"So you want to build a gym and have a really muscular body?" I joked.

The boy shook his head. "I want to be a secret agent like him. He's just so cool."

* * *

**He said something he shouldn't... **

**Thoughts?**

**Review?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


	16. Mazur

**Thanks for all your reviews and for sticking with me!  
**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter 15 – Mazur  
**

I couldn't believe what I just heard.

That couldn't be real. This little boy had a very wild imagination.

Dimitri as a spy or an agent, I couldn't even imagine it. He wasn't the type of person who cared about other's business except if he was affected by it.

"Your uncle is really a spy?" I asked Paul.

"He is! He's told me lots of things about what he does. His adventures were really amazing!" he answered enthusiastically. "He got to do disguises and sneak inside very huge buildings. He also fights and moves like a ninja."

If I weren't very convinced with what he was saying, I would be laughing now. As they say, children never lie. Most of the things that come out of their pretty little mouths were from real life events or from their imagination. From what Paul what saying, it could be both.

Dimitri was a real life spy. That explains that collection of documents he had in his room and other things I found there. I didn't speak anymore as I continued to drive because I'm afraid that if I ever I lose my focus, I would never be able to regain it and we'd both be dead.

After almost ten minutes, we were back in the house.

"Paul, you should go find your Mom and tell her what we did today except our secret of course," I said with a fake laugh.

I was supposed to open the door for him, but he rushed out before I could. He was a bit too excited to tell his mom about his day. If Karolina knew that I fed his child with junk, I'm sure she'd hate me even more.

This time without thinking twice, I packed all my things. I tried to forget what I just learned about Dimitri and possibly my mom and just be prepared to leave. I wasn't planning to say goodbye to any of them, maybe if I bump into them, I'd say that I couldn't bear to be here anymore. That it was very hot at night because the rooms weren't air-conditioned and I was bitten by mosquitoes way too many times. I'd lie and say that their food tasted like crap and it made my stomach turn, that I only had to resist throwing up as a sign of respect. That Paul was too talkative and I didn't like babysitting and kids. I'm gonna keep on lying because it was all I ever knew all my life. I was filled by and living with lies.

Carrying all my bags, I went downstairs. There was no one there. They seemed to be still preoccupied with Sonya and her daughter, Zoya. She was very lucky to have a very cute and beautiful baby but I was just wondering where the father was. None of them mentioned about him and Paul's father, too. I was too shy to even ask about it. They might think that I was prying their lives.

The only problem was I had to walk for about twenty minutes before I could ride a cab and my bags were kinda heavy.

I was scurrying my way to the door when I felt a tight grip on my shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going?" Karolina asked, pulling me away from the door.

I faced her. "I'm leaving, tell Olena thanks for inviting me here," I said sternly before trying to remove her grip on me, only she didn't. Her grip only tightened and her nails were digging my skin through my thin shirt.

"You're hurting me, let me go," I said harshly.

"I really hate you," she snarled.

"I already know that, now let me go."

She finally released me, but continued talking. "Do you know why I hate you?" I faced her again, my bags falling on the floor.

_This is it. _I thought.

Karolina's face was so red because of rage. She looked she was ready to attack me any moment. Now I'd know the reason behind her hatred for me. I never did anything to her.

"I hate you so much. Because of you, Dimitri was barely home. He was there in America because of you! You don't know how much Mom misses him, how our sisters and I do. He wasn't supposed to be there in the first place, but because of you, he was. We weren't his priority anymore, it was you. When he talks to us through the phone, it was all about you."

She was crying by the time she done speaking.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks too.

She was right.

She continued, "I don't know why Mom and my family loves you, God, my own son likes you more than me."

"I'm sorry. I have no idea about what's going on. I thought he was going here, but he lied to me. If I only knew—"

"You don't know? You don't know what he does?" She said, questionably.

"I just learned from Paul and I'm not even sure if it's true."

I thought she was going to confirm that what Paul said was true, but she only remained silent. I guess she wasn't going to tell me if ever she did know. Anyway, I'm going to find out the truth myself.

Leaving the Belikov household hurt me more than I thought. I was sobbing while I was walking and waiting for a cab. Lots of people around me were whispering. They might be thinking that I was insane. I recognize some faces, the ones who were in the funeral.

Half an hour later, I was inside a cab. I didn't know how to speak Russian so I just handed him the business card with the address. I asked him if he knew the place, and he just nodded.

An hour passed and we're in front of a giant building. I paid the fair which was half of that money that I brought here. If I'm going to stay here longer, my money wouldn't suffice me. Anyway, as soon as I find out the truth, I'm leaving this country. Lissa would truly be thankful if I return and help her with the business.

The driver thanked me Russian and I thanked him, too. When the cab left, I took my time gawking the building.

There was the name of the building at the very top of it. Along with some Russian characters, the name _Mazur_ was standing proudly.

_The building belongs to Ibrahim Mazur. _

* * *

**I'm sorry if I'm starting to disappoint you guys with the schedule of my updates, school was busier than what I expected.**_  
_

**Like it? Hate it?  
**

**Talk to me on twitter: ThisIsIshi  
**

**Thank you so much for reading!  
**

**-ishi :)  
**


	17. Mazur Hotel

**So short. I just want you to know that I am still here. I'm so busy these days and being a senior...it's kinda hard.. haha :))  
**

**I'll update whenever I can.  
**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter Sixteen - Mazur Hotel  
**

**(RPOV)**

"All the suites are occupied, I'm so sorry Ma'am," the petite Russian receptionist said in a sickly sweet way.

Looked like this building was a hotel for rich people, all the things inside were just very prestige and expensive. I wondered if this was the place where my mom worked. Was she a house-keeper? It couldn't be, this place was way too far and she must have a lot of money so she could be here every week.

The documents and now this hotel, they just don't click. What was the connection of those documents with this place?

At the moment, I had to think as a spy. If this was Dimitri's workplace, then this wasn't a real hotel. It was impossible for this place to be full if it was very far from any other establishments. If I was a tourist, I wouldn't want to check in this place, too far from the places I wanted to visit. No beautiful scenery or any other landmarks.

This wasn't just a hotel. I couldn't just leave; I have to talk to that Mazur guy. I have to know the truth about my father, my mother and Dimitri.

"Miss, listen, I have to talk to Mr. Mazur," I said nicely.

"Oh, you have to make an appointment first before you can talk to the owner," she answered while typing something.

"This is really important, it's about Janine Hathaway," I insisted.

The receptionist who hadn't been paying much attention to me suddenly faced me. Her face paled and uneasiness spread all over her face.

"Please wait for a few minutes," she instructed me before using her telephone to talk to someone.

I waited for almost fifteen minutes before the elevator opened and revealed a Turkish man dressed formally. Two burly men followed him as he made his way to me. He had a serious expression on his face and he looked almost scary. I was taken aback.

In a heartbeat, both my arms were grabbed the men behind Mr. Mazur. Their grip on me was so tight that it hurt. I didn't know how to react and what to say, but I know that what's happening now wasn't right. I didn't come here so I could be hurt, I came here to know who Mazur was.

"Who are you?" Mr. Mazur asked coldly.

The sound of his voice made me flinch. There was just something in it that made me so scared and vulnerable. It was so icy, like he had no heart.

"I…I'm Rosemarie Hathaway," I said with all my might.

"Hathaway?" he said, almost a whisper.

The expression of his face changed in the slightest way, like he was thinking deep.

"My mother is Janine Hathaway. I want to ask you a few things about her and I after that, I promise not to bother you anymore."

He didn't say anything to me, but told something Russian to the guys who were holding me. The men started to drag me forward to the elevator.

"Where the hell are we going?" I asked, agitated. "As far as I'm concerned, I can walk alone. I'm not handicapped, and I have no plans of leaving. As I have said, I need to know some things."

Again, he ignored me and I was getting angrier at him.

**…**

"It's impossible that you are Janine's daughter," Mr. Mazur hissed at me.

"I'm here, I exist, and she is my mother. Look at me, I look like her," I said irritatingly. I hated stating the obvious.

We had argued since we arrived here in his office. I was thankful that his guards left us alone; I really hate them as much as I was starting to hate him. Why couldn't I just hate him? Well, he could be my father, the real one. I really wish my mom was here so I could ask her.

"The baby died a few hours after she was born…just so impossible," he said, exasperated. He ran his calloused fingers through this thick dark brown hair and let out a defeated sigh.

_Dark brown hair…almost black. _It mirrored mine. We had the same hair.

"Can I ask you my questions now?" I asked.

He looked up at me and nodded. His face had softened compared to when I first saw him a while ago.

"How are you connected to my mother?"

* * *

**I don't know when I'll be back again... I'm really sorry for my schedule of updates.**

**Thank you so much for sticking with me.**

**- ishi :) **

**P.S. talk to me on twitter: ThisIsIshi**


	18. Facade

**_Five Months later..._  
**

**__Hi guys! **

**I'm trying my best to finish this story. It's on my New Year's Resolution list to finish all my undone stories. I know how awful it feels to wait for nothing.  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.  
**

* * *

**I Don't Want to Be a Bride**

**Chapter 17 – Façade**

"Janine is one of my employees and she's also my ex-girlfriend," he answered and it sounded truthful.

"This place isn't really a hotel, right?" I asked.

"It isn't," he confirmed. "This is an institute for private detectives and spies. What I'm telling you now is very confidential and once you spread any information of what we talked about today outside this building, you are going to be in big trouble. Another thing, since you entered this place, you cannot leave unless you have proven me that you can be trusted. Understand?"

"Yeah," I said, nonchalant. "So, are you my long lost father, Mr. Mazur?" I sounded more sarcastic than I wanted to because I was very angry at him and my mother.

Thanks to them, I lived in a wonderful world of lies.

"I don't know. I never knew Janine had a daughter until today. We need to run some tests. Who knows? You can be a spy from our competitors and enemies."

"I'm not a spy," I assured him but he didn't seem to believe me.

What if Mom lied to him about my existence? Haven't she thought that I could've lived a better life with Mr. Mazur? He looked all rich and prestige. He must have a fortune in his pocket. I think that what he was doing was illegal, though. Maybe that was the reason why Mom kept me from him.

When he said that I couldn't go back, did that mean that I was going to stay here? Would they kill me if I try to escape? What had I just gotten myself into?

"Am I going to stay in this place?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Yes and your every move will be watched for security purposes."

He pressed something like a button on his desk and the doors suddenly opened. Three men wearing a grey suit entered.

"Room 213," he said, addressing them.

"They will accompany you to your suit. You will be staying with a girl named Sydney, she's from the U.S. so you can pretty much talk to her," he told me.

I just nodded and then I stood up. The men took my things as we exited the room. We rode the elevator to eighth floor. The place really looked like a luxurious hotel. I'd never been to a place as extravagant as this. Mr. Mazur was richer than I imagined. His employees must be exceptional for him to earn this much money.

The walls of the hall were painted gold with crystal-like embellishments. The lights weren't white but light yellow. The floor had red carpet on it, the perfect combination to the walls. The place was literally sparkling. I feel like I was a maid in a big castle with what I am wearing.

Though the halls were empty except from me and the guards, I felt like I was being watched, like there were eyes around me. It made me very uneasy.

After a few more strides, we were in room 213. One of the guards knocked in a silly pattern and the door immediately opened.

It revealed a teenage girl, still wearing her pajamas. The first thing that I noticed on her was the scar that marred her right cheek. It wasn't that big but it was very noticeable. She was beautiful despite that mark. She looked at me, her brown eyes wide with surprise.

"She's going to be your roommate," one of the men said.

"Roommate? I thought we agreed that I will be alone in my suite," she argued with him.

"There are no more rooms left for her. It's Mr. Mazur's order so you better follow."

"Whatever. Just please don't bother with me. I hate talking," she said to me.

"Okay," I answered awkwardly.

The guards brought my things inside and left immediately. Sydney told me that my room was across hers.

It was smaller than my room in Montana but still larger than Dimitri's room in Baia. The queen-sized bed made the room look much smaller. Its powder blue sheets looked really comfy, though. Across the bed was a 32 inch flat screen. The walls of the room were a in a light shade of purple and there were no windows. A few paintings hung on the wall. There was a small closet, a small couch and a coffee table.

I had a feeling that my stay here would be very boring. If ever Mr. Mazur wasn't my real father, I would be dead. Literally. They would think that I had another reason why I came here.

Everything in this place was just a façade to hide how brutal it truly was. They could even be the reason behind Sydney's scar. Would they put one on my face, too? I wonder how the others looked like. Did they torture them?

* * *

**Don't forget to leave a review!**

**Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!**

**-ishi :)**

**P.S. Tweet me: thisisishi :)  
**


	19. Ghost

**Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review!**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter 18 –Ghost**

**(RPOV)**

The following morning, I woke to the screams coming from the room across from mine.

Sydney was screaming incoherent words which sounded like a plea or like she was asking for help. I hurriedly got up and barged into her room.

Her room was a tad bigger and more furnished than mine. The furniture was very elegant and feminine. You wouldn't have thought that Sydney was a girly girl type of girl based on her tough exterior.

I went to her side and shook her shoulders until she woke up.

Her eyes were wide and bloodshot from crying while she was sleeping. She was all sweaty even though her room's air conditioner was at its full blast.

"Syd—"

"Get out of here, I don't need you," she snapped at me before I could even speak.

Wow. She was one hell of a rude person. She could've died while having a nightmare, thanks to me, I woke her up. She could've at least thanked me first before kicking me out of her room.

I didn't leave though.

"Are you alright? Do you want some water?" I asked as nicely as I could.

"No. I don't need anything and if I do, I'll do it myself. I don't need anybody," she practically hissed at me at the end of her sentence.

"Will you stop being impolite? I am older than you and I'm just trying to help you. When Mr. Mazur said that I would be staying with an American, I thought I'd have somebody to talk to. It's nice not to feel alone sometimes. Though from what it looked like, you prefer being a loner," I said and then left immediately.

There was nothing more that I wanted than to leave this suite. It was kind of suffocating and I didn't want to bump into Sydney. It would be very awkward after what I told her. I knew what I said was a bit harsh, but I really didn't like it when people treat me that way when I treated them just fine.

I took a quick shower, got into a more comfortable outfit and then I left the suite.

For half an hour, I wandered around the building. I saw more agents as I walked and they were all giving me watchful stares which freaked me out. Were all the people here like that? When there's someone new, they just stare at them and not even greet them.

They were trained to be like that, I guess.

Five minutes later, I found myself in what looked like a cafeteria. It was jam-packed with people eating and chatting in hushed voices.

From what I had observed, people in this place weren't only from Russia and America, they came from various parts of the world. They looked typical tourists except from the way they act. They were too….reserved I think.

I felt like an outside as I stood on this room, many eyes on me. I tried avoiding their gazes, but everywhere I look, there were eyes looking back at me. It was starting to feel creepy.

They had one thing in common which was sadness and longing. I was never good at reading people, but the looks in their eyes were very obvious. I knew that they weren't allowed to leave this place, except maybe, when they have missions and jobs. Maybe they missed their families.

Realization hit me—hard. I just trapped myself in this place like them.

Were my mom and Dimitri like them? But they were allowed to leave so they must not be like them. Almost all my life I had been with Dimitri and the longest time that he was gone was for almost a month. He always returned home until that day…when he died.

The meal that they were eating looked really good. I was starving. The last thing that ate was the salad from the room service last night. I really didn't have the appetite to eat last night because of all that happened.

From what I had observed, they would just sit and the food would be served to them. No menus or anything.

So I sat on an empty table. I felt like I was back in high school, this time, I wasn't the one surrounded by friends, I was an outcast. An outsider. I felt so out of place.

My breakfast was served after two minutes. I think it was some Russian food. The soup tasted so damn good same as the break and the fruit salad. Maybe I was just really hungry.

I was ready to leave after I ate when I saw someone who was very impossible to be here. She stared at me as much as I stared at her. Was she real? Was she a ghost?

Chills run down my spine. I wanted to go to her, to touch her just to check if she was really there. But I couldn't move. My feet were glued on the hardwood floor.

Before I even had the courage to take a step forward, she disappeared in the crowd.

How can Tasha Ozera be here when she was supposed to be dead?

* * *

**What will happen now that Dimitri and Rose are in the same building?**

**Thoughts? Suggestions?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


	20. Blood

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns Vampire Academy.**

* * *

**I Don't Want To Be a Bride**

**Chapter 19 - Blood**

Sydney was still gone and it was already past midnight.

I was starting to worry that something happened to her or that she was sent out for a mission. She might not care about my existence, but I do care for her. She was way too young for this and there was so much more to life outside this freaking building.

I'd only been here for a short while but I could see how much they were suffering. Taking this job would have been really appealing to them because most of them were struggling with money.

Up until now, I had not seen Tasha or maybe the ghost of her. I wasn't still sure if I were hallucinating or if she was real. If she was real then she was doing a great job hiding from me because I do rounds every morning out of boredom.

The result of the paternity test was to be revealed today. But even without that, I was sure that Abe was my real father. When I met him I realized that I was a lot like him. We were both stubborn as hell.

I spent my afternoons with Abe and it had been the highlight of my stay here. He told me things about my mom and revealed that she was indeed one of his agents. I know now the real reason Dimitri was always gone. It was because he was also an agent, just like what his nephew said.

I understand why they had to lie, but it still hurt. Now, I was confused and angry. Only if they were alive, I'd love to shout at them, tell them that they made me live a life of lies.

So what else did Dimitri lied about? His and Tasha's death?

I hate him. I hate it that I still loved him though he lied to me. Thinking that he was dead still hurt me and I even have nightmares of how he died.

Every time I would ask Abe questions about Dimitri, he refused to answer it and would change the topic. It frustrated the hell out of me.

I couldn't sleep so I got up, wore a cardigan and walked down the halls in my pajama and slippers. It was a chilly night because it was raining hard.

This place was like a prison cell, a big one. I felt like an alien here. I could still have a life and they were all stuck. I felt ungrateful that I wasn't thankful for what I have or had.

The halls were empty and scary. I felt like I was in a horror movie. It was a perfect setting for one. I spotted a small balcony and I sat there, watching the rain and the lightning. I wish Dimitri's family was fine. Their house was pretty old already; I pray that it was sturdy enough to endure this storm.

Minutes or maybe hours may have passed since I sat here. I didn't know when I dozed off but I was really sleepy now and I just want to lie on my bed. Maybe this morning, I could go for a run…on the treadmill of course. Their facilities here were fantastic; it had to be because they were training human weapons.

The storm had calmed now but it was still super dark outside. Sydney might be back now, I wish she was okay.

When I arrived in front of our room, I was very sure that she was already there because the door was locked. Dang it. I just wanted to sleep on my bed.

I knocked three times, waiting for her to unlock the door. There was no response. I knocked again.

"Sydney? It's Rose, please open the door," I shouted. "Hey! I want to sleep, open the freaking door!" I'm in my worst attitude when I was deprived of either sleep or food.

My blood was boiling in anger and desperation. I kicked the door a few times before I sank to the floor. I was so tired.

Finally, the knob rattled and the door opened. I got up quickly and entered the room.

What I noticed first were the drops of blood on the hardwood floor and then more on Sydney's door.

"Sydney? Are you alright?" I asked, knocking frantically on her bedroom door. There was no answer. "Sydney, please, I'm getting worried here? Do you want me to call Abe for a doctor?"

Still no answer.

I was starting to think that I was in one of my nightmares,

I kicked her door with all that I had and then it opened. Adrenaline gave me the strength to do it and I was certain that I was going to have a bad pain in my ankle later.

There I saw, him with bloody hands, looking on the busted door with eyes wide in shock.

Somebody please tell me that I was only dreaming.

* * *

**Pray for Oklahoma.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ishi :)**


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